Before another word against Ghaziabad/Noida/UP

Now come on,accept it , you are jealous.
Either that,or unforgivably ignorant.
We ,the residents of Ghaziabad/Noida/UP(henceforth referred to as the"Force" in this post) are now absolutely fed up of you all jeering ,mocking ,or worst of all ,pitying us.So now the force is coming together to clear your stupid misconceptions about us,or our executive lifestyle.
1> You pity us : Since we have a powercut ranging from 2-15 hours a day.You thank your stars that you don't have to suffer such pain in the inglorious weather of this state,living as you are in some seemingly affluent state of the country.
What you don't realise is :this is a part our visionary government's plan to make the force unperishable.Rest of you might die of heat or cold ,or even if you develop resistance to it , then of heat and cold simultaneously, but the force,strenghthened by the "blow hot ,blow cold " effect of frequent power cuts, has become pasteurisation proof.
2>You jeer:Since you feel taxpayer's money in our state is squandered on statues and such,while basic necessities like roads sing their sob stories of potholes and sorry state of repair.
What you don't realise:Is that our minister must be the first since aurangzeb to make her own statue(If Aurangzeb did that). Also,these statues make nice denizens (or shit-spots) for birds who are otherwise shooed from everywhere.
As far as roads are concerned,they are not repaired so that you get nostalgic,and sing "sajan re jhooth mat bolo" everytime you drive, to remind you of the good old times when people travelled only by bailgadis.
3>You wonder:How we survive betwixt the rampant crime.
What you don't realise:Is that Ghaziabad is number two worldwide in crime statistics.Are you envious that we are on world map,whereas noone knows you ?
4>You pooh-pooh:Calling us ,"jamuna-par" and "no-idea instead of noida"..saying things like" how in the world do you drink that horrible water of those city taps ?"
What you don't realise: is that the brick taste water of our cities is full of minerals like asphalt ,chromium etc ...which makes our bodies more immune to anything that can be thrown at us (so we are salt proof in addition to being pasteurization proof).
So get a life ...no point burning your intestines with jealousy